Flying Internationally – Some Tips for Travelers:

Within the past six months, I have been in the US three times, once to Hawaii; and the second trip to Seattle and Denver and the third trip to New Orleans and Seattle. I thought I'd comment on these trips and tell you what I'm thinking about when traveling since there is a lot of time to think about things. Basically, I've spent too much time inside the Boeing 777 aircraft.

When I do travel, it seems that several things come to mind: weather, upgrades and how to pass gas on an airplane. On long flights it really helps to be in a business class seat where one can put the seat down almost flat and the food is upscale. Here's a typical menu for an 11 hour flight to/from Osaka and the US: smoked salmon and a garden salad followed by the main course of either filet mignon with home fried potatoes, green beans and carrot batonnets or roasted breast of chicken with car siu glaze. Dessert follows with cheese, port or black bottom pie. There is also a mid-flight meal and, on overnight flights, a hot breakfast in the morning. There is always plenty of wine or liquor to go around. The chef in the basement must be working overtime.

So, the food is good; the service, at least in business class, is excellent. But, it's still 10 or 11 hours. What does one do for that time period? Yes, there are movies to watch and music to listen to on the headsets or just look out of the window, unless the flight attendants ask you to close it so someone behind you can see their TV monitor better. They typically ask that the windows be closed but since looking out of the window can get pretty boring -- all one can see is blue ocean and/or while clouds – I closed my window shade. However, before I did so, I did see a large container ship. I now take binoculars with me and peer out from above especially when flying over inhabited areas. Yesterday, November 1 st , on the last leg of my trip to New Orleans, I looked down on some very remote military bases in the Nevada desert. Surely not the infamous “Area 51”? The best thing to do if one doesn't have the ability to spy on those on the ground is watch the airport, ground or coastline as you leave, shut the blinds, and open them again when you're landing. It's like flipping channels on the TV, going from one reality to another but the flipping isn't as quick as it is with a TV remote.

But the interesting thing about overseas travel is that I'm developing a taste for getting upgraded without using my airline miles. For frequent flyers that build up mileage with their airline of choice, those miles can be used to upgrade to business class. They can also be used for free travel, so one has to decide if one stays in coach to accumulate miles or upgrades for more immediate comfort and satisfaction. I choose comfort.

But, if one doesn't have the miles to use for an upgrade, what to do? The problem is that on some airlines, one cannot buy an upgrade leaving only the use of miles or payment of the full business class fare. All Nippon Airlines does allow for upgrades without miles and, for their flight to Tokyo's Haneda airport, they charge a flat fee of $60 (6000 Yen) to upgrade to their ‘super seat' service on their 747 aircraft. Out of Osaka, they only fly coach on Boeing 767 aircraft and pack in a lot of customers.

However, the answer to getting upgraded without using miles is simply to bargain for the upgrade with the airline. I've found two ways to do this and here they are:

The “Voluntary Bump”

When you get to the airport with a coach seat ticket, tell the agent you want to be put on the ‘voluntary bump' list. Do this immediately but know the risk. The risk is that you get bumped and don't go today; you go tomorrow, but you could get travel coupons or upgrades in exchange for giving up your seat. More typically, if economy is sold out or at maximum capacity, the airline will give your seat to someone else and put you in business class at no additional cost and on the same flight. I did this last week from Tokyo to Seattle on an overnight flight.

Missed Connection Leads to Upgrades.

If you have a plane change from a domestic flight in the US to an international flight that is very tight, and if the domestic flight can't connect with the international flight, tell the agent that you'd like to have a business class seat when you do go out. You'd be surprised how readily they agree; maybe to ensure that you don't complain about the missed connection, so it's turns into a ‘win-win' for you and the airline. This won't work if all of business class is sold out and it is doubtful that the airline will actually put you in first class, but this is possible.

The Question about Weather.

Weather is an important concern for travelers, especially if one is flying over towards southern Japan, China, the Philippines or Thailand. Why? Well, from about June through September is Typhoon season. These tropical storms seem to start up weekly around Guam or Micronesia and move west. Sometimes they pick up force and become ‘super typhoons' or just remain tropical storms or minor typhoons. In any event, since I live in what I might call ‘typhoon alley' and, since these storms seem to materialize weekly, one doesn't want to get caught in Tokyo or Osaka due to canceled flights caused by these low pressure systems and yet one wants to get home to ensure that the wind and water don't cause problems. I was in that situation on my trip to Denver – a super typhoon was in the area followed by a tropical storm. Fortunately, neither one did any damage and my house was fine. I had left it empty for about 10 days.

“Grumpy Old Men” as Seat Mates

One thing that has happened to me consistently is having grumpy old men as seatmates. On two out of three trips, my seatmates were about my age. They both were uncomfortable in business class but would have been uncomfortable in nearly any setting. Being that they were grumpy old men, they seemed to have trouble sleeping and would toss and turn, sit up, lie down, adjust the seat, etc. When I decide to nap, I become basically catatonic and remain in literally one position for several hours. But with these guys knocking around adjusting things, my rest is broken at best. Since old guys need to stick together, I am always very quiet if I have to leave and try not to wake them. But if they need to turn over or adjust their seats, well, you get the picture. On the most recent flight, from Osaka to San Francisco (a mere 9 hours), the problem was with the flight attendants who seemed to gather in the galley near my seat and have a jolly old time laughing and carrying on after serving the meal. I complained but it did little to stop the noise. The only thing that did stop it was the flight attendant's breaks, when they got to rest – then it was quiet.

Proper Airplane Gas Passing

On an 11-hour flight, someone will have to pass gas. It might be me, but I'll never admit to it here. So, one concern about travel is what is the proper way to take care of   ‘personal' gas? If I pass gas at my seat, good heavens, everyone around me will surely wonder who did it.   So, as our mother's told all of us when we were young, the proper place to ‘pass' is in the lavatory. The problem is that airplane lavatories are closet-sized compartments and someone sitting nearby can both hear you should be a ‘loud' passer and smell any odors that you might emit.

But I have discovered a trick to it: the Boeing 777 and other modern airplanes have a toilet that dramatically sucks anything in the toilet bowl into the bowels of the plane (no pun intended) with a lot of wind and force – almost a mini-typhoon right on the plane! When this happens, I've noticed that the air in the lavatory compartment gets sucked into the toilet bowl. So, the trick is to pass gas and then quickly flush. The personal gas that now has escaped from inside you will float into the toilet bowl and go away. After all, that's all we want from toilets anyway – to take that nasty stuff away. The second way to cover up for any suspicious smells if you are traveling in less modern airplanes is to look for the deodorant stick or bar in the lavatory (look on the wall or ceiling) and then find the air vent for the air that is coming into the compartment. Remove the deodorant and hold it over the air vent and your smelly gas is masked by the pretty deodorant that they use in these places.